This comment is so great for not only my girls, but also me! For you to take the time to give us these pointers, I’m grateful. I love the idea of finding out where the person’s head is who is asking for advice and also finding out if they (or an employee) is willing to change. I’m going to come up against all of this with my girls and (I’m sure) employees at the boutique.
Thank you for these VERY well received tips! I can’t wait to start using them. You have always been so good to us. Please know it doesn’t go unappreciated.
XXOO R

When someone asks for advice, I start with the following question: Are you asking me because you wish to consider what I tell you or do you just want reassurance and I should just agree with you? That tells me where that person’s head is at. It tells me how I should respond because, in my experience in dealing with people, most people who ask for advice already know what they “should” do. They want someone to talk them out of it and convince them that what they are currently doing is just fine.

As far as employees go, criticism is different. You need to get someone to make a change or they may find themselves in bad circumstances such as the loss of a raise, destroyed relationships with co-workers or customers, demotion or termination. When I handle this I discuss the behavior and what effects the behavior creates. I ask the person if they are willing to change and then we discuss specific behaviors that need to be demonstrated. I also have the person tell me what they are willing to do, if anything to change.

All these circumstances are difficult and uncomfortable but as long as you have a reputation for being kind, sincere and honest (which you do) you will be fine (and you are!)