February 4th, 2016

Honest To G-D (The Dim Sum and Doughnuts Oath)

When my brother and I were kids, my dad used to make us say “Honest to G-D” if ever he was doubtful about something that came out of our mouths. The first time he ever brought it up to me, I was very young. We were in my bedroom, on my yellow shag carpeting, and he stood in front of me—dubious, skeptical and intimidating. I was lying, of course, and he knew it. He knew it, but he couldn’t prove it. So he had me prove it instead. Keep reading this post »

January 27th, 2016

Ch-Ch-Changes

Last week my friend’s dog passed away, David Bowie died, one of my favorite restaurants announced that they’re closing, and Glenn Frey died. None of these things have anything to do with me, but I still felt like I got punched in the face several times. (That could also be because I’m binge watching OZ, so prison violence is pretty much my life right now.) Keep reading this post »

January 9th, 2016

15 Things Little Girls Do

There is nothing like a little girl. They are unicorns, bubble gum, rainbows and ribbons. They are also whiney, pouty, bitchy and crazy.

When it was time for us to start a family, I always wanted girls. We adopted the first kid so we got to pick, but the second one was a crapshoot. When the technician told us we were having a girl, I was so excited. Two girls!

I thought I was prepared (because I’m a girl) but as my dad always used to say: “You don’t know what you don’t know.”

So, if you’re pregnant with a girl, know someone who is, or you have girls, you might enjoy this list of 15 things I have noticed that little girls do: Keep reading this post »

December 5th, 2015

Half The Story

You’ve probably heard the phrase: Throw someone under the bus. It‘s when one person sacrifices another person (usually an undeserving and unknowing person) for personal gain.

My kids do this quite a bit: Keep reading this post »

November 25th, 2015

Being Grateful

Thanksgiving is the best. There’s no religious stuff tied to it so it’s mainly food, family, football, friends and fun.

The holiday really doesn’t ask for much:

Thanksgiving doesn’t care if we eat at 3:00 or at 7:00. It doesn’t care if we stay in or go out. It doesn’t even care if we are with others or if we are alone. Thanksgiving only asks that we(before we start feeding our faces) take some time to consider the things we have to be thankful for, and the things we might take for granted.

My daughters, 6 and 8 years old, have been learning about Thanksgiving in school so I asked them the following question: Keep reading this post »

November 21st, 2015

Creative Punishing

I have two daughters; one is 6 and one is 8. The 6 year old, for the most part, is very good. She’s a pleaser, she only wants Mommy and Daddy to be proud of her:

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The 8 year old though, she doesn’t really care what we think:

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She cares about what she can get away with and lately she’s been exhibiting certain behaviors that are not acceptable so down, down, down she goes.

Punishment is no fun for anyone, but kids need to know: If they do things that aren’t OK—they are gonna have to pay. Keep reading this post »

October 21st, 2015

Damaged Goods

On Monday I went nuts on my kids.

When I turned around to see BOTH of them on their stomachs, hanging over the seats, a$$es in the air and shoes on the ceiling of my MONTH OLD CAR, I went nuts.

I have told my 8 year old on several different occasions not to put her dirty shoes on the seats of my car. I didn’t think to mention the CEILING. And of course, if my 6 year old sees her doing it, she’ll think it’s a great idea and follow suit. Keep reading this post »

October 13th, 2015

What They Would Have Wanted…

When I was in my 20’s I had an on-again/off-again boyfriend who was not good for me, but I was addicted to him. The first time we met the attraction was instantaneous and we were fighting before we were even formally introduced. When he suggested that we go for ice cream in order to “cool off,” I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride, but I was in and so was he, for 3 years. Keep reading this post »

August 13th, 2015

The Perks Of Growing Up At A Summer Camp (The Wrap-Up)

When I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up in the “room on the tippy-top floor” of the Plaza Hotel in New York City like Eloise from the book Eloise. My kids are growing up an at overnight camp in Northern Michigan and for them, Camp Tanuga is the Plaza Hotel. Keep reading this post »

August 8th, 2015

Are You Being Watched?

In hip hop songs it’s not uncommon for rappers to throw accolades at someone who has helped them achieve success. They may make reference to other rappers they think are great, or acknowledge the ones who have helped them along the way. It’s like their way of saying Thank you. I wouldn’t be where I am now if it weren’t for you. There’s even one song in particular where the rapper straight-up says “Shady made it so my babies aren’t starving at home.”

That guy wasn’t just thanking Eminem for helping him succeed, he was thanking him for not leaving him behind. It’s nice that artists can do that in a song, it’s forever preserved that way. When I want to thank or acknowledge someone, I usually send cookies, and they just get eaten. Keep reading this post »