10 Things No One Gives A Crap About On Facebook
1. You‘re scrolling through your Facebook News Feed and you come to my status. It says: I’m at the movies! Would you care? No, you would not. No one does. How about this one: I’m at the movies with Eminem! You might care a little bit, but now I’m just bragging (and lying).
2. If your Nana dies, does it need to be your FB status? Your real friends will already know about Nana and the people who don‘t know, don’t care. Get the “F” off Facebook and go do what you should be doing: Crying over your sweet, dead Nana.
3. The Show-offs. Their life is SO great, they just have to show you all the GREAT things they’re doing, all the time. A new GREAT announcement accompanied by a perfectly posed picture every day!
4. I’m not going to rip the people who use bad grammar in their posts because everyone makes mistakes (especially if they’re in a hurry) but if you truly don’t know the difference between their, they’re and there, you got troubles.
5. Have you ever seen a status like this: Work-out with my trainer and then breakfast with my besties, work out again and then lunch and then maybe I’ll throw it all up and then pick up the kids… I don’t like those. I am not interested in your schedule for the day and neither are any of your other Facebook friends. Get a calendar.
6. Do you enjoy cryptic Facebook status‘s like this one: I‘m so over this day! Well, I don’t. Why do you have to post that for your status? Do you want us to ask you what happened that made your day so crazy or so horrible? Here’s an idea: You get like 60,000 characters for your status, WHY NOT JUST TELL US?
7. Sometimes I see Facebook posts that say something like: Thank you to all of my really great friends for all of your support while I had a stuffy nose. I couldn’t have made it without you. You guys are the best and I love you so much. Why is that your status? Why not get in touch with them personally because it sounds like what you mean is: To all of the people who weren’t there for me in my time of need, you suck.
8. Let’s not forget the people who Check In to different places: Thank you for letting us know. Maybe next time you can follow up with how far you are from home, when you’ll be back, and if you have anything worth stealing.
9. And the ones who load ALL of their vacation pictures? I mean 2-4 photos is acceptable, but no one is interested in flipping through 83 pictures from your trip to Milwaukee. Stop it.
10. And finally, the people who use their Facebook status to constantly ask people to LIKE their blog page are so annoying. No one cares about your stupid Dim Sum and Doughnuts blog. Stop pushing it. …But just in case, here’s the info:
Facebook : DimSumandDoughnuts
Hazel M. Wheeler says
Ahhh…and yet people tell me I miss so much because I’m not on Facebook.
One dear friend threatens to open an account in my name and put all sorts of debauchery on it. I’m kinda hoping she will, because I have no time for debauchery these days.
Very, very funny Robyn.
I’ll do it! I’ll do an account for you! I seem to always have time for debauchery. What is WRONG with me? So happy you found the site. Love having you back, Hazel!
I can’t imagine being in your brain for one day….LOL — The things that you come up with just make my day…If I’m down – I just need to come to your Dimsumanddoughnuts.blogspot.com and have the cares of the day lifted away.
You inspire – You give joy and you are one crazy chika – but I love your daily inspirational notes…YOU SAY what we are all thinking! lol
I have so much mad love for you, sister! Thank you!!!! Whenever I see your name pop up, it brightens my day before I even read what you have to say (that rhymed, by the way).
Laughed out loud at this one…and I don’t LOL for just anyone. I’m no blog whore. Ahem. My fav is when people put messages that SHOULD be private on Facebook like, “Hey Robyn, I’ll call you later so we can make our GNO plans!”
I mean, what’s the point? Does everyone have to know you have plans with Robyn? Are you stirring shit up by making it clear that although you have plans with Robyn, a multitude of FB friends were NOT included in the plans? Are you just too stupid to either email, text, send a private message or just (here’s a novel idea) CALL?
Really? I kinda hate these people. A lot.
Now, I have to go post about my dead Nana. (Tear)
Right?? Don’t even get me started on posts! (Well, I actually did start writing about posts but then I started ripping on some of the things I do so I deleted that part of the enry and just stuck with the status stuff). But do we really need to find out about the things we’re NOT invited to because of FB? Pot stirrers. Go cry over Nana!!
OMG! I’m totally that person!!
OOPS. Sorry. I didn’t mean you. Don’t hurt me.
What about the people who know the EXACT number of characters you can use in your status post??? How do they know THAT? They must be sitting around all summer with nothing to do-hehe. I love you…how is my baby?
I have to admit to knowing the exact #s. But it’s a work-related need!
Ahhh…the compassion over the dead Nana, you just have that little something that makes the world right again!!!
Ha! This post made me do some serious thinking but I think I’m in the clear 🙂 My husband and I play a game with the statuses. Like who can get the most creative, ridiculous status up there~ He usually wins! I’m not really into sharing real details and I think our silliness may help balance the facebook world of “my kids wont sleep or behave, the job stinks… blah. blah. blah”
Can I play with you guys? 🙂
mrs bini says
I think this blog is about me! Shower, grocery store & work today!!
That is right, I will never stop my useless Facebook posts-I can’t help myself…!
It’s not, Mrs. Bini. You go on with your FB posts, sister! XOXOXOXO
It’s actually 420 characters on Facebook and Happy Birthday to Lovey!!
You are correct! I had the wrong info. I’m changing it right now.
When all this people have time to constantly update their staff on facebook
For me the day doesn’t have enough hours to do all the things that I need to do ,
Once I crawl from under my rock in the morning the seconds go in the speed of light, some days I don’t know where am I , who am I and why I left the keys in the refrigerator
I think the last part of your comment would make a great FB update!! (I’m not kidding)
Lucid, thoughtful, spot on… However there’s a post-type that you missed. The messages that people post, which are intended to be read by dead relatives. “Dear Uncle Rudy, you died 7 years ago, and I think about you every day.” Dead people do not use Facebook.
Dead people do not use Facebook. Maybe we should start a Facebook site for them. That way they can find all their old friends and relatives. They can get together for dinner at 4:30 and mayble play a little Maj.
Too funny – this is one of my pet peeves – especially with those silly “where are checking in from” – I don’t care if you are on a bus, at the grocery, at the doctors, the car dealership or oh yes my favorite – at the funeral parlor going to someone’s wake……seriously cut it out because no really cares where you are or where you are going!!!!
Yes! Those are brutal. I agree. You can hide those though. I hide them all. You’re checking in WHERE? I don’t care.
I think you were way too kind re: the updaters! You forgot the complainers, the weather updaters, the photographers… and of course, the stalkers! Love your blog, hope you are having a great summer! 🙂
I wasn’t aware of the weather updaters or stalkers. I’m not sure I know what that is all about.The photographers was so funny, you made me laugh out loud. I did forget them! I don’t think I can nail the complainers since sometimes I complain myself and as we all know, if it’s me (or you)who does it, it’s OK. 🙂
I love this one, Rob-honestly the dead nana-just saw that kind of post today-and the schedule one cracks me up, too!
Oh, poor dead Nana. Go cry over her or just cry over the fact that she didn’t leave you anything good. XOXOXO
Hilarious!!! this is my pet peeve as well. i have a friend who feels compelled to post EVERYTHING she does…’lucy is walking to the shop’…really?? also my brother in law, every night, posts that he is “at home, clothes optional’ with my little sister!!! really have to feel sorry for my niece, i feel this may be scarring her emotionally…
“Clothes optional?” Come on. That is just all kinds of wrong. He needs a link to the post. BAD. 🙂