Every once in a while I do a NO BOYS ALLOWED post. This is one of those posts:
I should have known that last Monday was going to be rough. It started with me waking up at 4:28AM. That’s never good because I can’t get back to sleep. I try to count sheep, but somewhere around 12 I start contemplating scenes from Mad Men, and then I stress that I can’t sleep, and then, of course, I have to use the bathroom.
Speaking as someone who has gone to bed at 4:28 in the morning and woken up at 4:28 in the morning, the former is more fun.
After an hour or so, I finally made it back to sleep and when I woke up I looked like this:
Just kidding. I looked like this:
And I felt like it too. But when you’re a mom, the day calls for you whether you’re up for it not.
And it was a day.
Our morning routine was uneventful and once I got my kids off to school, I did all my mom stuff and work stuff before it was time to pick up my younger one (JJ, 5) from pre-school. I was still moving a little slow from no sleep but I remembered it was picture day for JJ’s dance class.
I was set though. I carved out 5-7 minutes before we left to get her in costume and make-up.
Then it was time to meet the bus to grab my older daughter (F). She is 7. JJ and discussed what kind of mood F would be in when she got off the bus. There are only two moods for F: Good or Bad. Thankfully, she was good.
Traffic was bad so we were running late. Testing F’s good mood, I asked her if she would be a “nice big sister” and take JJ into her class while I parked the car. I was very proud of myself for multitasking the drop-off/car park. I don’t think I would have been able to do that last year. (Honestly, I’m not even 100% sure that I should have done it this year, but F is responsible, and their dance studio is a very warm and safe place. I knew my kids would blend in until I got there 3 minutes later.)
When I walked in, I noticed that everyone in JJ’s class looked perfect and she, though very cute, looked a little disheveled. She was (my fault) the only one without a ponytail but we managed to find a rubber band. I also didn’t think to bring a brush so F and I had to finger brush her hair which left it all bumpy.
And it wasn’t until class started that I noticed bobbie pins would also have been smart because her hair wasn’t staying in the band and also her costume was all jacked up in the back. (See kid on the right.)
She was a mini hot mess. I felt bad. I let her down. But she made it through, unscathed.
When we got home, it was dinner and homework time. The girls usually play while I make something (something they will complain about) for dinner. I never know what they’re doing when they “play,” and I really don’t care as long as there is no crying or blood. Normally they come in and out of the kitchen to bug me, but F only came in once—and it was so she could borrow the broom.
Wait. That’s weird.
Me: F! Hold up! What do you need the broom for?
F: Nothing, Mommy. Don’t worry.
Well, that’s never good, so I followed her. Sure enough, in my bedroom, there was a trail of hair leading to my bathroom. Chunks of hair. And then JJ, on the floor in the bathroom:
JJ: Hi, Mommy! We cut our hair!!!
And since my husband is not around (he’s already at camp) it’s on me to do everything and suffice it to say,”cleaning up hair” was not an add-on I was looking for.
And the girls? They thought since Mommy was laughing, she wasn’t mad. They don’t know that sometimes when Mommies laugh, it’s not because something is funny, it’s because we have LOST OUR MINDS.
She cut one big chunk out, Sixteen Candles style.
At least F’s cut was symmetrical, she hit both sides and she actually did me a favor. I have been wanting her to get layers.
I wasn’t mad, I was just tired, so they took that to mean they could go play. WRONG. I wasn’t the one playing Vidal Sassoon—they made the mess, they can clean it up.
And they did. And then, as long as we were in there, they did my make-up.
When it was finally time for them to go to bed, it was garbage and recycling time for me. An that’s when I really, REALLY miss my husband. I managed to get everything down our driveway (I drove it) but just as I got to the end, a man and his dog were walking by.
I didn’t hit them. (This story would have such a different ending.) I did chat with them though, and even though the last thing I wanted to do at that point was talk to anyone, I managed to hold my own.
But once I was back in the house, washing my hands, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and saw what the man saw.
I totally forgot that the girls did my make-up!
And then, RIGHT then, as I wiped excess lip gloss off my teeth and sighed in defeat—in defeat of the day, but hopeful that the next one would be better, I got my “P.” P for PERFECT. I didn’t even see it coming or I would have worn a different pair of undies. And I sank to the floor.
And as I sat amidst the chunks of hair that we didn’t quite get, I realized that I truly am very fortunate to be in this position. As moms, we have days like this: Manic Mondays, Turbulent Tuesdays, Wacky Wednesdays…they are “Mother’s Days.” They’re part of the job, a (more often than not) thankless and exhausting job for which we get no money and few accolades, but an important job nonetheless—quite possibly the most important job.
I hope all the Moms out there have a very special Mother’s Day. You deserve only good things today, (unless you are a horrible mom).
And as for me, I think I’m going to treat myself to some new undies.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Hey girl. Wow, that was a day. I kept hoping you made up 99.9% of that so that we all could get a chuckle, but knowing you it all happened. Sigh. BTDT, except for the hair. That’s the one (and only) bullet I’ve dodged. So far.
Love you! You are awesome. Tell yourself that. Every day, and twice on Manic Mondays.
Hi Kiy! It was a total BTDT post. Exactly!! I knew all moms would be able to relate. I’m glad you did too (and I’m glad you haven’t had a hair episode…yet) 🙂 You’re an awesome mom and I hope you have the BEST Mother’s Day! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. You’re so great. XOXOXO!!!!
Happy Mother’s Day Robyn! You had me laughing hysterically picturing you talking to the neighbor all “made up”!
OMG, Sandy!! It was so funny. I was completely clueless. He must have been like WHAT IS UP WITH THIS LADY??? So funny!!! Happy Mother’s Day to you!!!!!!!!
Ann Collins says
Loved your blog today again!! you made me laugh & cry ….You will know one of these days that these are Precious memories and you’ll have great fun telling stories to their children (one of the benefits of being grandparents by the way ) So some day when you are at the end of your rope say “This will make a great story to tell your children” 🙂 You should know that you are an awesome Mom! <3
You are so right, Ann!! I try to get as much down in the blog as I can so I have the memories (good and bad) preserved for them. I only wish I had taken a picture of what my face looked like after they did my make-up. I still can’t believe the guy kept a straight face while talking to me. I would have been like…”Um, have you seen your face??” XOXOX Thank you for being a reader. You’re the BEST and I hope you have a great Mother’s Day!!!!!!
Wow! That was quite a day! I love how you found the humor in it and can be so positive. I’ve been lucky and no one has cut their own hair at our house (yet). However they have given the dog a makeover which included an intricate hair cut!
HAHAHAHA, Liz!! I bet the dog makeover was so funny (and so cute.) I don’t know why it’s making me laugh so much right now, maybe because I am just picturing your poor dog, standing there, being good while your kids go to town on him (or her). Floyd Coden would have been good like that too. I remember when he would come out of a room with barrettes and ribbons in his hair…I could never tell if he cared or if he was like “Why do they do this to me??” 🙂
Sharon DW says
No worries – you’re fine. If all days were in eventful, you actually be bored. Although, there were some days I wished for boredom!
That’s pretty much the bottom line, Sharon! It’s exhausting and they’re killing me, but I know that’s the way it’s supposed to be. It’s motherhood, right? But maybe one day of boredom…just one day would be nice. Thank you for checking in. You know your opinion means so much to me because I know what kind of a mother you are. Happy Mother’s Day. You deserve such a special one!
Sharon DW says
Happy Mother’s Day Robyn!! I hope the girls gave you lots of love and made sure to tell you how great of a mother you are 🙂 You deserve it. Loved your blog as always. All I can say about the hair is, at least it wasn’t the bangs!! <3
So true, Heather!! The bangs would have been the worst! The bangs are what I did as a kid. That’s a much harder recovery than the sides and back, for sure. In fact, I hate to admit it but I haven’t even had the chance to take F in to get her sides blended yet. She’s just been wearing her hair up until I get her to a professional. Bad, I know.
I hope you had a GREAT Mother’s Day. I know you must be a great mom and I am SO happy to have you here. 🙂 XOXOX R
Hahaha oh Robyn, if I were a mom I know I would be a great one. Just not there yet!!!
-Heather Mai 😉
Heather Mai!! Stop it!!! I love that you’re reading the blog!!!! You will be a great mom, you’re right–but can you not do it for awhile, please?? You still have a lot to do, girl!!!
So happy to hear from you. That makes me happy that you check in on us. 🙂 Keep in touch, for sure. I’m here!
Happy Mother’s Day to you — I am not sure what I would have done if M cut her hair or H’s. Probably laughed and cried, especially if I was alone! Bravo for not screaming, but allowing your girls to have a fun memory for the rest of their days.
Hi Annie! I swear, every time something like this happens, I start singing…”Memories…” it’s so funny that you said that. You totally got the gist of this entire blog in one sentence. I figure this whole thing will be memories for the girls one day (with a little bit of me just because I want to be IN THEIR HEADS every minute of the day! Just kidding. (Sort of).
I love having you here. I’m so glad you found us!! I hope you had a great Mother’s Day filled with (only) good memories. 🙂
Great post! So funny!! I ran some errands last week with a few stickers stuck to my face and neither Mak (who put them there) or anyone else we ran into said a word!!! Like it was normal or something! Maybe it was….. Lol. It sounds like you had a perfect Mothers Day XXxX
Oh no, Kerry!!! If it makes you feel any better, today at dance F told me that I had food in my teeth. It was from lunch 4 hours before! I’m thinking it might be a good idea for me to check a mirror after each meal. And a few days ago, some lady told me that my sweater was on inside out. That was pretty much all day after I put it on. NICE!!! I’m right there with you!!
Hope your Mother’s Day was amazing and that Mak put stickers in a card and not on your face 🙂
i cringe at the day that Josephine has a sibling and i will also be sweeping up cut chunks of hair.. is this some right of passage that siblings do with each other? it has happened to just about every one i know.. i guess you just have to keep telling yourself.. it could be worse? its just hair, it grows back right?
happy mamas day to you!!!
Hi Gina! I have to believe it’s a rite of passage. I did it. I’m sure you did too. I did it because I thought bangs would change my life. I think I was in 3rd or 4th grade. I wasn’t expecting my girls to get to it so soon or I would have had the same talk with them as I did about not painting or drawing on the walls. Make a note now to remind yourself to tell J not to do it and then let me know if it works!! Maybe it will! You might as well tell her not to draw on the walls while you’re at it. 🙂
Happy Mother’s Day to you. I hope it was SO GREAT!!!!!