• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • About
  • Sum Girls Boutique
  • “SUM” Services
  • Subscribe
  • Archives
  • Contact
  • Nav Social Menu

    • facebook
    • twitter
    • instagram
    • youtube
    • snapchat

Dim Sum and Doughnuts

A little SUMthing about growing up, making mistakes and happy endings.

Why Are My Kids Spoiled Brats?

April 7, 2016

There are moments when I look at my girls and I’m so proud of them. Those moments are prized and precious. As parents, we don’t get paid for the job we do, our payment is the product. And the product is the kid.

That’s parenthood. It’s unstable, unpredictable and, often times, thankless. It doesn’t suck all the time, obviously—or no one would do it, but it’s not an easy job to raise a good kid. And if you’re a good parent, raising a good kid, you can’t ever get too cocky because as soon as you do, your kid will do something to remind you that you still have a lot of work to do.

It doesn’t even have to be something big. With little kids, like what I have, it’s usually something small. The thing is, something small can turn into something big if it’s not acknowledged.

For example, my little one, JJ, lost her tooth the other day and the tooth fairy (Penelope) brought her a dollar, a lipstick pen and a Kit Kat. (I don’t know if Penelope is a high rent tooth fairy or if she is low rent, but that’s what my kid got.) JJ was thrilled.

FullSizeRender

 

Her older sister, however, was not.

F

As soon as the Tooth Fairy treasures were displayed, the older one came into the kitchen whining and complaining that “JJ got a Kit Kat and I didn’t, and now JJ will get to have it after lunch and I don’t get ANYHING!! (Whine, whine, whine…cry a little bit and stomp out.)

How JJ’s Tooth Fairy haul was even ABOUT her, I don’t know.

I was so completely dumbfounded by the pre-pre-pre menstrual situation that just occurred, I called her back to the kitchen so I could calmly explain that she also gets stuff from Penelope when she loses a tooth, and she doesn’t always share those things with her little sister.

That should have been enough, but it wasn’t. There was arguing—unnecessary and exhausting arguing.

I started to get aggravated as she argued with me and I finally defaulted to asking her what, if anything, in her life she was missing…?

I will tell you what she’s missing: Nothing. But she argued that too. She somehow even managed to bring the argument back to her sister and then started complaining about a bunch of other random stuff that had nothing to do with ANYTHING in this world.

At that point, I was done so I explained that NONE of this was my problem and if she wanted some of the Kit Kat, her best move would be to go to her sister and ask HER!

It seems, as of late, that this kind of thing has become a trend in our house: My kids concentrate more on what they DON’T have instead of what they DO have.

It never lasts more than a few seconds, but it annoys me. My kids have a good life—the exact life my huz and I work for them to have and want them to have—but sometimes I wonder if we are giving them too much? They complain and whine about the dumbest stuff. A little perspective would be nice sometimes.

Part of it is their age. They’re still little. They don’t know of all the bad stuff that is going on in the world, and they shouldn’t. Or should they?

Maybe a little.

There’s a part of me that wants to protect them while I still can, but I also don’t want to raise spoiled brats. There are some days when I get scared because I feel like they are going in that direction. Those are the days when I think they need to know a little more of what things could be like for them if they didn’t have parents who are as AWESOME as us.

That’s probably why, last night, when the girls and I were in JJ’s bed, petting and loving on our dog, Bruno, we somehow got into a conversation about how some people aren’t so nice to their dogs. And some people aren’t so nice to their kids. In fact, some mommies and daddies even HIT their kids, OPEN HANDED!

And I didn’t stop there. We talked at length about kids who don’t have it as good as they do. Kids who get the crap beat out of them for saying stupid s**t, and kids who don’t ever get Tooth Fairy visits. I felt bad for a second because, you know, probably not the best bedtime story ever, but it seemed like I was making my point, even if it was only going to last a few seconds.

Sometimes those seconds are what helps our kids become decent adults though.

I believe there are times when we need to indulge youth and innocence, and let our kids only know happy times, but sometimes they need to know that there are worse things than not getting a Kit Kat when your sister does.

Also, telling your kid about horrible parents who beat their kids keeps the bar real low for us so we look good and get a win—even if it’s only for a few seconds.

 

Related posts:

We Don't Care If You Stare (My Top 10 List of Annoying Questions and Comments for Adoptive Families)
Prep Work
It Really Does Take A Village
After The Wait

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Email

Filed Under: Marriage and Family, Parenthood & Parenting Tips Tagged With: grateful, growing up, humor, kids, lessons, life, momlife, mommy blogger, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting win, perspective, spoiled, ungrateful, values

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Stacy Vieder says

    April 7, 2016 at 9:08 am

    Here’s something that I like about you and therefore your children: you guys TALK. It can be really hard to find the mental space and time to just talk, but you guys do. And it shows in your kids, and your dog. I totally agree about the ‘spoiled’ concern. It’s difficult to keep everyone grounded. We’re all tremendously lucky and spoiled in our own ways. But I think it’s good to talk to your team and let them know the truth.

    PS did JJ share the kit kat?

    • Robyn says

      April 7, 2016 at 7:37 pm

      I agree. It’s hard to find those quiet moments. I especially like that you included Bruno in this. It’s good that I have him to offset them! She actually did offer to share, but I could tell she didn’t really want to (and I didn’t blame her). 🙂 XOXO

  2. Libby says

    April 7, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    Do we share Penelope? Do you know that’s Jesses tooth fairy too?
    You should show them the episode of Janet Jackson with the iron burn on good times.

    • Robyn says

      April 7, 2016 at 7:39 pm

      Do we share her? I don’t know. I know we STOLE her from you. That I know. Whether or not she still has your side of town in her region, I don’t know for sure. That Janet Jackson episode was epic. I will never forget it. I need to find that and play it for the girls NOW. 🙂 XOXOXO

Primary Sidebar

heading-about Dim Sum and Doughnuts
heading-subscribe

heading-categories
  • Parenthood & Parenting Tips
  • Camp Life
  • Adoption
  • Rants
  • Marriage & Family
  • Friendship
  • You’re Not Alone
  • Mailbag Monday!
  • Sum Of This, Sum Of That
  • 20 SUMthings
  • Dogs Rule
  • Relationships
  • Guest Post

heading-instagram

Before we opened, lots of people questioned why on Before we opened, lots of people questioned why on earth I’d “want to open a brick and mortar when everyone just shops online...?” 
⭐️
But you know what? SUM people like to shop in real life. They like to touch and try on. They like to be surrounded by good vibes and build memories you can’t make online. It’s good to get out, check out, and log off for a bit. 
⭐️
I’m not saying “Don’t shop online” (I do too!) I’m just saying it’s also nice to add in another element. Small businesses are SUPER COOL and special — and I promise you, if they’re in business right now, it’s because they’re working super hard to keep their doors open. I have also been putting in the work, and I am feeling so grateful for the stellar group of customers, businesses and friends that support us and all we are trying to do. 
⭐️
Thank you @feministmomming for doing a spotlight on @dimsumanddoughnuts and @sumgirlsboutique and for reminding me how special my family, our brand, and our support system are to us. We are so grateful to have all of you in our lives and on our ride. 🙏 #SupportLocal #ShopSmall and Come Get SUM soon! 💜 #SumGirlsBoutique 
_______________________________
👗👚👖 Trendy, Sustainable Fashion + New Apparel & Accessories for Tweens * Teens * Ladies in #BerkleyMi
Challenge Accepted @poesygallery @moe_z_arts @shan Challenge Accepted @poesygallery @moe_z_arts @shan809 @debfuger @lmk126 @dianna.feldman 💜 Trying hard every day to build our brand so women and girls have a place to feel good about themselves and have SUM fun! So lucky to be surrounded by so many strong, amazing women who support me no matter what I do. 🙏💜 @sumgirlsboutique @dimsumanddoughnuts #womensupportingwomen
On Sat, March 28, 2020 our daughter’s dream came On Sat, March 28, 2020 our daughter’s dream came true ⭐️ •
•••••
Instead of having her Bat Mitzvah service in the Rabbi’s Study, family only (which was still more people than she wanted) she got to have it at home with just us! 🎉 •
•••••
Frankie will forever be the first person EVER from the congregation of #TempleBethEl to be Bat Mitzvah’d via #ZOOM in the comfort of her own home! Dress Code: #QuarantineCasual.👌🏻 •
•••••
It was the most incredible experience for our family, including #BrunoMarshall 🐾, and we couldn’t be prouder of our amazing daughter. ❤️🙏 •
•••••
#DimSumAndDoughnuts 
#GrowingUp 
#QuarantineBatMitzvah #wehadatorahinourhouse
In the midst of the COVID-19 yuckiness and all the In the midst of the COVID-19 yuckiness and all the crap it has thrown at our family (and so many others), it’s still #GotchaDay and it needs to be celebrated! 🎉 12 years this diva has been with us and we love her more every day. ❤️ 🥘 🍩 @DimSumAndDoughnuts • @sumgirlsboutique #daughterlove #daughterlife #adoptionday
#NationalAdoptionMonth, yo! 🙌🏻 If you are ad #NationalAdoptionMonth, yo! 🙌🏻 If you are adopted or have an adopted kid, take 20% OFF any one regularly priced item @sumgirlsboutique on Sat, Nov 23 cuz #adoptionrocks! 🎸 ❤️ •
•
#SumGirlsBoutique • Trendy, Current, #SustainableFashion + New Apparel & Accessories for Tweens, Teens & Ladies of all Ages in #downtownberkley
#internationaldayofthegirl is a day to promote the #internationaldayofthegirl is a day to promote the empowerment of young girls everywhere-but we try to do that everyday @sumgirlsboutique! 💜⭐️ 💪🏻 Come see us and Come Get SUM sooooon! •
•
Trendy, Current, #SustainableFashion + New Apparel & Accessories for Tweens, Teens & Ladies of all Ages in #DowntownBerkley💜@dimsumanddoughnuts
Did not know about #NationalDaughtersDay until it Did not know about #NationalDaughtersDay until it was too late, but I did write a blog post for those divas and it took me a YEAR and I hope they appreciate it one day! 😜😜 #DontBeStupid #mothersanddaughters #growingup  #DimSumAndDoughnuts #sumgirlsboutique •
•
Blog Post link in bio (It’s a gooooood one!)
Photo Cred @mikemoy
Happy #NationalDogDay from this handSUM guy! 💜 Happy #NationalDogDay from this handSUM guy! 💜 #BrunoMarshall #BlackLabs #LoveForDogs
One night only! We were all together, and now they One night only! We were all together, and now they’re all gone... 😢Cody and #BrunoMarshall came to get the divas, and now they’re #camptanuga bound! Bring on the magic • 2019 ❤️🌈⛺️#tanugamagic #tanuga #campwifelife
These two came home from NYC with two new loves: # These two came home from NYC with two new loves: #governorsisland and #pokernight - and the most love for their Uncle D 💛 @dstortion #BKgirls #DimSumAndDoughnuts / @sumgirlsboutique
#BrownAndWhiteStripes in our hearts and home and c #BrownAndWhiteStripes in our hearts and home and closets forever. ❤️ #DimSumAndDoughnuts #gonebutneverforgotten #henribendel #bendelgirlsforlife #bendelgirls | @henribendel @dimsumanddoughnuts
@dimsumanddoughnuts divas #BehindTheScenes at @sum @dimsumanddoughnuts divas #BehindTheScenes at @sumgirlsboutique 💕 @mphmarketingsolutions #DowntownBerkley
So happy we got to be a part of this amazing story So happy we got to be a part of this amazing story and that we are teamed up with the #DrewTransitionCenter in #Detroit! ❤️#SumGirlsBoutique #DimSumAndDoughnuts 
#EmpowerPotential #Confidence #Support #Smiles / @dimsumanddoughnuts
#NationalAdoptionDay 💜 #NationalAdoptionDay 💜
#HappyHalloween from #johnandyoko ❤️🎃👻 #HappyHalloween from #johnandyoko ❤️🎃👻
Late to the party, as usual. I missed #nationaldau Late to the party, as usual. I missed #nationaldaughtersday but these divas are getting a whole blog written for them one day so I don’t feel that guilty! @dimsumanddoughnuts #daughters #sisters #momlife #momblog #dimsumanddoughnuts
Follow on Instagram

heading-find-us-on-facebook
heading-recent-posts

Mona

June 30, 2020

The Eyedeegafs

April 16, 2020

Don’t Be Stupid, Part 2

August 8, 2019

Don’t Be Stupid

August 15, 2018

links

  • Adoptimist.com
heading-connect
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • Snapchat
headeing-advertise
MPH Marketing Solutions In Berkley, MI
funky-frog-boutique
camp-tanuge
pronto
Kay_Bratt
 

Copyright © 2021 Dim Sum and Doughnuts

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.