(From The Archives: April 3, 2012)
For some reason, whenever I voice a concern about my kids, there is almost always someone who feels the need to weigh in with the following response:
“Oh, just wait. That’s NOTHING… Just wait until she is (fill in whatever age their kid is), because that’s way worse!”
I can’t stand that.
Currently, my younger kid is still pooping in her diaper. She’s going to be 3 years old soon and she still doesn’t tell me when she needs to go. I would think she’d want to tell me but no, she is quite content walking around with a rump full of dump.
And not only that, but when I approach her about the VERY obvious poop in her pants, she simply replies: “It’s OK, Mommy!”…Really? Is it? Is it OK that you are walking around with a giant POOP IN YOUR PANTS?”
(Kid in the green/yellow is the one who still poops in her pants.)
(Yep, that one.)
As a parent to a little one, I feel like my complaint is valid. I’m over my kid crapping her pants. I’m looking for someone to help me, to give me some advice. I’m not looking for this:
“Just wait…Oh, just wait…I have a 17 year old son who just brought a hooker to my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah and also, he does bong hits at the dinner table.”
I’m sorry, but did I ask to hear about your 17 year old train wreck of a kid? No, I did not. I have a kid who is literally CRAPPING her pants. I’m not interested in your horror and “whore” stories. Thanks for nothing. Go clean your kid’s bong.
I guess it’s normal for the Been There, Done That parents to use the “Just Wait” scare tactic. They’ve earned it. They paid their dues. They already went through all the stuff we’re dealing with. They’ve moved on. I get that.
But it’s not really helpful.
It’s about perspective, yes, but please understand–everything is relative. If you’re talking to someone who hasn’t been a parent as long as you have, someone who has a valid complaint about what is currently going on with their kid, a kid who’s walking around in denial about a diaper that smells like 4 day old Indian food, I can tell you with a great deal of confidence that perspective is not what they’re looking for.
Most parents (especially new ones) are beat up and worn out. We want someone to listen when we have a concern—a if you’re offering an effective solution, we’ll gladly take it.
We want help. We want support.
Raising kids is like any other part of life. It goes in phases and we have to ride each one out. We suit up and bear down through the rough phases while we wish, in vain, that the fun phases would last forever.
When we complain about parenting issues, we’re either asking for help or looking to vent.
But if you choose to respond to our pleas with “Just Wait…blah blah blah blah blah annoying” well, that’s totally fine. But I think YOU should “Just Wait” too…and I think you should do it over there, with my kid, who just pooped in her diaper. Again.
Thanks for being here!